Posts tagged narcissism
Resentment & Letting Go

Many of us suffered less than desirable childhoods resulting in needs that were not met growing up. We often spend the rest of our lives unconsiously attempting to get these needs met through friends, romantic partners, and family members. We play out the same pattern over and over and find ourselves miserable and resentful.

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Alcoholic Family Systems

In alcoholic family systems, it is typically the case that the black sheep of the family is the healthiest in the family system. It is also typically the case that the black sheep of the family believes they are the most mentally ill. Why is this?

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People Pleasing

People pleasing often develops as a response when children feel they must caretake the adults around them in order to be loved. As we grow, it becomes difficult to voice our true feelings because love has become attached to always being pleasing and easy to others.

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Don’t “Do You.” Be You.

In our quest to be pleasing to others, we may end up role playing the version of ourselves we think will garner approval even when it doesn’t feel congruent for us because we feel that is what is expected. In these moments, though, we are not being ourselves. We are performing ourselves. Our current “you do you, boo” era suggests that we each should pick our personalilty out and wear it as something separate from us—as a role we play rather than as an expression of who we spontaneously are in that moment. This leaves us feeling detached and lifeless, often leading to apathy and a fear that nothing means anything.

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Societal Conditions of Narcissism

Thus, on a cultural level, nostalgic calls for a “return” to what once was and to “make America great again” point to a lack of opportunity in our social fabric for meaningful work and relationships. People feel disenfranchised and alienated, and there is thus a sort of cultural narcissism that occurs because the very things that allow for an overcoming of such narcissism are no longer readily available to us.

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