In our quest to be pleasing to others, we may end up role playing the version of ourselves we think will garner approval even when it doesn’t feel congruent for us because we feel that is what is expected. In these moments, though, we are not being ourselves. We are performing ourselves. Our current “you do you, boo” era suggests that we each should pick our personalilty out and wear it as something separate from us—as a role we play rather than as an expression of who we spontaneously are in that moment. This leaves us feeling detached and lifeless, often leading to apathy and a fear that nothing means anything.

Building Initiative and Courage in Kids

If we want children to feel secure in the world and grow into independent, courageous, and curious adults, it is important that adults contain their own anxieties and pull back from constant monitoring and overprotective, anxious parenting. When we step back and do not do everything for children, it is amazing how quickly they grow curious and try things on their own! Over time, this builds confidence and character as children begin to understand what they need to do to accomplish things in the world.

Julie L. FutrellJanuary 27, 2022kids, parenting, parents, psychology, therapy, resilience, anxiety, depression, teens, teenagers, psychoanalysisComment

Deepening Your Self-Awareness in the New Year

If we can reframe what the purpose of resolutions are, perhaps we can actually engage in a process that helps us deepen our connection to ourselves and to our true desires. Resolutions, by their nature, tend to close things off. “I resolve I will not do X anymore!” The problem is, they rarely open us up! At the beginning of a new year, we are most filled with the wonder of what might happen in this new year. Why not ask some questions that help expand the world and your being?