Many of us suffered less than desirable childhoods resulting in needs that were not met growing up. We often spend the rest of our lives unconsiously attempting to get these needs met through friends, romantic partners, and family members. We play out the same pattern over and over and find ourselves miserable and resentful.
Read MoreAnxiety and an overactive mind feel overwhelming and can drive misery. The greatest trick the mind ever played was convincing us it was in control, and that what it says, goes. That we have no choice but to do what our chaotic minds say.
Read MoreIn alcoholic family systems, it is typically the case that the black sheep of the family is the healthiest in the family system. It is also typically the case that the black sheep of the family believes they are the most mentally ill. Why is this?
Read MorePeople pleasing often develops as a response when children feel they must caretake the adults around them in order to be loved. As we grow, it becomes difficult to voice our true feelings because love has become attached to always being pleasing and easy to others.
Read MoreThe more difficult emotions such as sadness and fear can feel overwhelming for kids precisely because they have never experienced these “big” feelings, so the way parents describe and explain these big feelings has a long-lasting impact on children’s authentic experience of their emotional lives as well as their coping skills.
Read MoreIn our quest to be pleasing to others, we may end up role playing the version of ourselves we think will garner approval even when it doesn’t feel congruent for us because we feel that is what is expected. In these moments, though, we are not being ourselves. We are performing ourselves. Our current “you do you, boo” era suggests that we each should pick our personalilty out and wear it as something separate from us—as a role we play rather than as an expression of who we spontaneously are in that moment. This leaves us feeling detached and lifeless, often leading to apathy and a fear that nothing means anything.
Read MoreIf we want children to feel secure in the world and grow into independent, courageous, and curious adults, it is important that adults contain their own anxieties and pull back from constant monitoring and overprotective, anxious parenting. When we step back and do not do everything for children, it is amazing how quickly they grow curious and try things on their own! Over time, this builds confidence and character as children begin to understand what they need to do to accomplish things in the world.
Read MoreIf we can reframe what the purpose of resolutions are, perhaps we can actually engage in a process that helps us deepen our connection to ourselves and to our true desires. Resolutions, by their nature, tend to close things off. “I resolve I will not do X anymore!” The problem is, they rarely open us up! At the beginning of a new year, we are most filled with the wonder of what might happen in this new year. Why not ask some questions that help expand the world and your being?
Read More“As I’ve learned to care for myself better – that means my spiritual, physical and mental health, I’ve been able to reconnect with the enjoyment of working on writing, playing and performing music.
I had given decades of my own power away, concerning myself with how others think, how others feel, with little regard for its cost to me. I now have a great appreciation for life, my ability to do music and it’s capacity to help me grow.”
Read MoreWhile creating, I experience stages of working that feel sort of like sleep cycles. I find it easy to stay focused while painting, but like sleep, I experience deeper moments of absorption. It is a bit like being on autopilot, where decisions are made automatically and intuitively. It is thrilling, when every brush you select, every mark you make, every color you mix just works without much conscious thought. I only become aware of these moments after they pass, and I snap back to reality.
Read More“For me, the supernatural realm is a spiritual realm and I tend to meld the two together. Therefore, what are commonly referred to as miracles tend to be normal, no less amazing, but not unbelievable. The words we share with one another are equally that of a spiritual and supernatural realm which resonate profoundly once we learn our respective sounds and phonetics. I believe the spirit is who and what we all truly are, as well as bio-organisms derived of stardust. We are energy that resonates.”
Read MoreMy interest does not lie in analyzing the contributors or engaging in psychobiography, rather, I am interested in this place where art and language meet and how that gets taken up by artists as well as this space/place beyond language. The desire is not to decipher the mystery of art but rather to amplify it. To engage art as that which is radically singular and counter to the master's discourse. In this way, psychoanalysis itself is an art and a subversive act.
Read MoreBut Freud, long ago, pointed to a different way of tarrying with this void. Rather than trying to escape this gnawing sense of inescapable loneliness, one could instead look within and draw upon it to produce something profoundly original and innervating, something completely untouched by the dictates of the social world. One could create.
Read MoreAt a time when the goals of therapy are often presented as “management of one’s symptoms,” “greater control over one’s emotions / becoming less emotional,” or simply “being more objective,” it seems imperative to draw attention to the ways such “goals” both fail the patient and betray the radically transformative power of good psychotherapy.
Read MoreAs I sort through the media coverage of the suicide deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, I find myself angered and baffled by the reduction of complex human distress to "mental illness" or the "disease of depression." My argument isn't with the term "depression," but rather how depression is taken up and the shoddy science that falsely claims depression as a biological "disease."
Read MoreThus, on a cultural level, nostalgic calls for a “return” to what once was and to “make America great again” point to a lack of opportunity in our social fabric for meaningful work and relationships. People feel disenfranchised and alienated, and there is thus a sort of cultural narcissism that occurs because the very things that allow for an overcoming of such narcissism are no longer readily available to us.
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